I’d say that in the short term, use GoodNights and provide your son with a few bags for discreet disposal (in his bag, not in the friend’s garbage). For the longer term, I would suggest checking out this site:
We have a son who wet the bed, and we were desperate, because like you, he was refusing sleepovers either at our house or a friend’s house, because he was afraid his friends would find out. There’s a lot of great info on this site, and their program is top notch. We did their program and after a few months, my son now has dry nights, when he’d gone 8 1/2 years with no dry nights. They have a counselor work with you until the bedwetting ends. The program works best if the child is motivated (which your son probably is), and it’s actually more work for you than your son! But for me, the work was worth it, just to experience the joy of dry nights. The doctors were telling us that he would grow out of it, and then some wanted to medicate him. I didn’t want to wait it out and have a high schooler who wet the bed. I also didn’t want to medicate the problem, because the medication they use is an anti-depressant! Their program does not use medication.
Anyway — I feel your pain, and highly suggest this program. Even if you don’t actually do the program, the site is worth looking at. It would also be good for your son to look at, since they have testimonials from other kids, and he’ll realize that lots of kids have this issue.
Note to Ms. Coffee:
The cost depends on how severe the problem is and how long they think it will take. I honestly cannot remember what the cost was, since we did this a year ago. It’s not cheap, though, I do remember that. The consultation was interesting and I learned a lot from that. I didn’t realize that it’s genetic ( I was a sleep walker and that’s apparently related). They also said that it’s the deep sleep pattern that they fall into which makes it impossible to wake up to pee. And what was surprising to me was that the deep sleep that they fall info is not very restful, which is why a lot of these kids (my son included) wake up irritable, and have problems concentrating. They work with you to break the deep sleep pattern and strengthen the bladder at the same time.